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Have You Heard of Theater Sports?
by Matt Eagan

        As I finished my Sourdough Jack, I began to plan out the rest of my Saturday afternoon. I was with a friend who is very hard to keep entertained so I had to come up with something original. I thought of the obvious things - go to the movies or walk the mall, but I needed to think of something that I hadn't done before. About the only thing left in sleepy Sacramento that I hadn't done was go to theater sports. I ran the idea past my friend and he reluctantly agreed. We had a common friend who participates in theater sports so at the very least we could embarrass and annoy him.

           Once we had discarded our rubbish in the appropriate receptacle (see Fr. McGary, we do throw our trash away), we quickly proceeded to Jesuit. As it turned out, our hastiness was not required because we arrived an hour early. So, we watched them set up and talked to the other members of theater sports. Forty-five minutes passed by and most the players hadn't arrived and there was almost nobody in the audience. I actually expected a low turnout because who has actually heard anything about theater sports?


           Some people suggested that they cancel the performance, but then something amazing happened. Everybody showed up at one time. Within ten minutes, all the players had arrived and the room was packed with students, siblings and parents. Being the lucky guy I am, I was asked to be one of four judges for their games. Once everybody had settled down, the show began.


          I was very impressed. Twenty out of twenty-one games were actually funny. Now, I'm not going to tell you about each game, but the format is much like the television show "Who's Line is it Anyway?" These people are really brave. Not many people can stand up in front of a large crowd and just be consistently funny. I strongly suggest that if you have Mr. Warren for English, go watch because you get extra credit. For everybody else, watch because…..THE ROCK SAYS THEY ARE GOOD. Really. He said that.


By the way, senior Lorenzo Patino and junior Chris Solis were MVPs this Saturday.

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